My husband goes to events where they serve alcohol (i.e. weddings, conferences, etc.). I don’t go to those events because of the alcohol and he’s supportive of my decision. However, my mother-in-law told me that although I’m trying to avoid one sin, I’m actually committing another by not being with my husband and not supporting him. I know we should listen to our parents, and then our husbands, but only if they don’t conflict with religious doctrine/rules. Could you please explain the limits of listening to one’s parents or spouse, and clarify the rules of attending events where alcohol is served?
Any action that a person intends to embark upon should be examined in terms of its permissibility/prohibition with respect to Islam’s rules and code of conduct. This practice must be strictly adhered to in every circumstance, even when people of personal influence (e.g. parents) advise them to engage in prohibited or reprehensible acts. The Holy Quran says, “We have advised the human being, “Be kind to your parents. Do not obey them if they force you to consider equal to Me things which you do not know are such” (29:8 – see also 31:15). If the parent advises or commands the child to do something prohibited then the latter should not obey him/her, yet, at the same time, the child should refrain from insulting or mistreating him/her (i.e. maintain respect). As far as the in-laws are concerned, it is an extension of kindness and compassion towards the spouse to treat them the same, but as per the supreme religious authority, it is not obligatory to obey them, and certainly not when they advise to a prohibited act.
As far as attending events or restaurants where alcoholic beverages are being served, it is best not to do so as a general rule. On the other hand, clearly that cannot always be insured in the West because Muslims are sometimes obliged to attend work or other events, or choose to go to restaurants where alcoholic beverages are being served. A Muslim is not necessarily [religiously] required to decline invitations to such events or refrain from attending, however, when there, it is prohibited to eat and drink at a table where alcoholic beverages are being served/consumed. Furthermore, it is prohibited based on obligatory precaution to [even] sit at a table where alcoholic beverages are being served/consumed. If alcoholic beverages are not being served/consumed at the table where the Muslim is sitting then there is no objection to sitting or eating/drinking there, and this rule applies to whether the person is attending a wedding or a restaurant.