Is it permissible to seek external intervention in abusive households?

Is it permissible to ask if someone in an abusive households can seek external intervention? My father has been emotionally abusive and condescending towards my mother throughout the 21 years of their marriage and my mother never discussed his behavior and torture with anyone, not even her family. I’m worried for my mother. Her mental health has been destroyed. We, as a family, have always kept my father’s behavior between us but recently, it has become too much, especially, since he’s never been willing to change. Can a person in such condition, when they know that the parties involved cannot resolve their own issues, involve outsiders in a couple’s matter or should I never have someone intervene?

It is permissible to involve an outsider provided that there is a good possibility that they can fix the problem and not make things worse. Based on the information you have provided it seems that your father needs help in controlling his temper and anger issues, if one can convince him of the problem and that he should seek help, then that may help his case and positively change his behavior towards you and your mother. However, despite all the negative behavior and harsh treatment by your father, this should not take away the respect that you should have for him. You should still love him and respect him as your father and know he needs help to overcome his negative anger. Lastly, you need to resort to Allah Exalted and beseech His help for your father and mother, and may He cure your father from his anger and shower your family with peace and mercy.

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