Sunday, September 20th, 2026, is the 8th of Rabi al-Akhir, 1448 A.H., which marks the birth anniversary of Imam Hasan al-Askari (p)

Remember the Good, Let Go of the Hurt

Some of the deepest wounds in our lives do not come from strangers. They come from people we love, including friends, family members, and those we once trusted. A careless comment, a disappointment, or a moment when someone was not there for us can stay in our hearts for years.

And strangely, it can become much easier to remember that one painful moment than the many moments of kindness that came before it.

Imam Hasan al-Askari (p) offers us a different way to approach our relationships. He is reported to have said, “The best of your brothers [in faith] is he who forgets your wrongdoing [against him] and remembers your kindness.” (Al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 379). There is something deeply human about this teaching. Imam al-Askari (p) is not describing a friendship in which people never hurt or disappoint one another. He is teaching us what to do when they inevitably do. Our hearts can sometimes keep an unfair record. Someone may have shown us kindness countless times, supported us when we struggled, celebrated our happiness, and stood beside us when we needed them. Yet one mistake can suddenly become the thing we remember most.

Imam al-Askari (p) asks us to reverse that instinct. Instead of keeping a mental list of everything someone has done wrong, remember what they have done right. Remember the phone call when you needed someone. Remember the favor they never mentioned again. Remember the times they forgave you. Remember the goodness that is easy to overlook when we are hurt. This does not mean pretending that serious harm never happened, accepting mistreatment, or refusing to establish necessary boundaries. Forgiveness does not require us to remain in harmful situations. Rather, the hadith speaks to the kind of heart we cultivate: Do we allow people’s mistakes to erase every good thing we know about them?

There is also humility hidden within this teaching. We want others to remember us by our best moments rather than our worst. We hope that when we make a mistake, the people who love us will see it within the larger story of who we are. Imam al-Askari (p) reminds us to extend that same generosity to others. Perhaps that is what makes a sincere brother or sister in faith so precious. They know your shortcomings, but they do not define you by them. They have been hurt, but they still remember your goodness. They choose gratitude over resentment and mercy over keeping score.

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For more information on Imam Hasan al-Askari (p), click here.

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