I Don’t Feel Spiritual…What is Wrong With Me?

It’s only natural that we feel our spirituality fluctuate over time. At its highest, we feel connected, hopeful, and highly motivated towards our greater purpose: serving God. At its lowest, we may find ourselves aimless, distracted, and struggling to fulfill our religious obligations. 

What are some reasons why we may not “feel” spiritual, and how can we effectively push past these feelings to maintain our connection with God?

1. Lack of will or desire

At times, we may find that we simply lack motivation. In a Hadith narrated in Kitab al-Kafi, from the Prophet (pbuh&hp), he states,“Surely these hearts are receptive and in a state of rejection…when it’s receptive, perform recommended acts and when they are turning back (rejecting), just perform the obligations” (al-Kafi, vol. 3, b. 4, ch. 85, h. 16).

In order to increase our baseline spiritual state, we should take ample advantage of the times when our hearts are “receptive.” When we feel more desire to engage in worship, we should act on it by performing recommended acts beyond our duties. Consider fasting, performing mustahab prayers, giving charity, reciting supplications, and contemplating the verses of the Holy Quran. 

But when our hearts are in a state of “rejection,” meaning we are experiencing a lack of desire to engage in worship, we don’t have to push ourselves to perform any mustahab acts; Instead, we can focus only on fulfilling our obligations, especially what is considered the most important– our daily prayers.

Even in spiritual lulls, one must pray every day to demonstrate that they are making an effort to God.

Think about it like this: Are we pleased with our employees, our children, or our friends, when we see that they aren’t putting forth any effort to fulfill their responsibilities or to maintain our relationship?

Don’t be negligent in your prayers. Sometimes it will come easy; other times it will require great effort, but just like any healthy habit, it will take time and dedication to build up to the point where you derive fulfillment and reap its benefits. 

2. Mental and/or Physical Exhaustion

We are creatures with both minds and bodies, in addition to our souls. Therefore, our spiritual state is inextricably linked with our physical and mental wellbeing. 

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (p) narrates that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh&hp) said, “Surely this religion is firm, so approach it with gentleness, and don’t dislike the worship of God such that you’re like a rider who is stuck without a path to travel and a back (of the horse) to ride on…” (al-Kafi, Volume 2, Book 1, Chapter 45, Hadith 1). Islam is a deeply rooted, strong, and comprehensive way of life. Because of its depth and demands, one must approach gentleness, moderation, and gradual commitment.

This does not mean that the religion is to be taken lightly or that its obligations are optional. The Prophet’s (pbuh&hp) words are a warning against overexertion. You shouldn’t push yourself so hard that you collapse or risk abandoning your spiritual practice altogether. Faith is a lifelong journey, not a sprint. 

This means that you should tend to your physical needs: getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising, and listening to your body when you need to rest. It also means maintaining your mental health: Are you chronically stressed? Do you have healthy relationships? Are you feeling anxious or depressed? It’s important to seek help if you need it. 

Curating an environment and a support system around you that supports your safety, health and happiness allows you to communicate with God with a clear mind, a sound body, and a receptive heart. 

3. Self-Deprecation 

When we are feeling distant from God, it’s easy to allow ourselves to be ridden with guilt and thoughts of being unworthy. This creates a negative feedback loop of self-deprecation fueling a lack of fulfillment in our worship, and vice versa. But we must recognize that no one is unworthy of the mercy and guidance of God who is the Most Merciful.

We are taught by the Ahlul Bayt (pbut) to strike a balance within ourselves. Imam Ali (p) advises in Nahjul Balaghah, “Do good deeds like one who knows he will die very old, and be cautious like one who is afraid of dying the next day.”Our goal should therefore be to strike a balance between hope in God’s mercy and fear of His punishment. 

Excessive fear without hope leads to despair. A person who believes God will never forgive them may abandon worship altogether, concluding that effort is futile.

Excessive hope without fear leads to complacency. A person who thinks, “God is All-Merciful, so I can sin freely and He will forgive me,” has misunderstood the nature of divine mercy. 

“And when My servants ask you about Me — indeed I am near. I respond to the call of the caller when he calls upon Me…” (Quran 2:186)

We need only try our best to reach for God, and He will always respond generously. You can humble yourself before God without beating yourself up for your shortcomings if you maintain focus and faith in His unlimited compassion and generosity. 

Don’t forget that this life is rarely a story of perfect servitude and submission, but rather a journey of continuous seeking to God.